Well, well, well, here you are, probably thinking youâve heard it all when it comes to marriage advice. Maybe you’re thinking, “Oh great, another so-called ‘expert’ telling me how to live my life!” Trust me, I get it. Iâm Mary, and after 40 wonderful years of marriage to my darling, Iâve learned a thing or two. If you want to stick around till the end of this article, you just might find the golden nugget of wisdom youâve been searching for!
You see, when I first married Charles, I was as green as a granny smith apple. We didnât have much but we had love, and my grandmotherâs hand-stitched quilt that we used as our first blanket. Our wedding day was right out of a Norman Rockwell painting, simpler times indeed. But I tell ya, the simplicity masked a mountain of lessons I had yet to learn.
Now, donât get me wrong. It wasnât all rainbows and country tunes. There were days I wanted to clobber Charles over the head with a cast-iron skillet. Turns out, that skillet’s better used for frying up some bacon and making peace over breakfast.
Communication is Key, but So is Silence
Alright, letâs get down to the nitty-gritty. Everyone tells you communication is key, and itâs true. But hereâs the kickerâyouâve got to know when to shut up! Sometimes the best form of communication is a well-timed hush. There were evenings when Charles would come home grouchy from work, and I used to badger him with questions about his day. All he wanted was to sit quietly with the newspaper and a cold drink.
One day, it hit me like a lightning bolt during a summer storm. If I gave him some peace at home, heâd be more inclined to talk later. Sure enough, the less I pressed, the more he shared. Silence became our secret language. Who knew good communication sometimes means saying nothing at all?
Faith as Our Anchor
I canât stress this enough. For us, faith is what kept our marriage docked and steady during the stormiest seas. We stood with our church community, living our lives by the Good Book. Amen to that! Sunday mornings in the pew, hands clasped and heads bowedâthe power of prayer can work wonders in a marriage.
Let me tell you, faith isn’t just a crutch; itâs the foundation. Those tĂȘte-Ă -tĂȘtes with the Lord kept me from wringing Charlesâ neck more times than I care to admit. The wisdom we gained from our Bible studies helped us navigate the tricky waters of marriage. Lord knows, we couldn’t have done it alone!
Choosing Your Battles
Another tip from me to youâchoose your battles wisely. Not every disagreement is worth the heartache. I used to get my knickers in a twist over socks left on the floor or the toilet seat being left up (men, am I right?). But over time, I learned to ask myself, “Is this worth losing peace over?” Nine times out of ten, the answer was no.
Charles and I instituted what we called our âGrace Period,â a 30-minute cooldown before reacting to something that bothered us. More often than not, the issue seemed trivial after some reflection. And guess what? Choosing peace over pettiness kept our bond strong.
Laugh Together, Not Just at Each Other
Marriage should be fun, not a funeral. Ainât nothing better than having a hearty laugh with your spouse. Charles and I have our inside jokes that could make us giggle like school kids even now. I remember one night we stayed up laughing about a deer that spooked him while he was taking out the trash. The poor man thought a ghost had come for him!
Humor can turn a tense moment into a treasured memory. Itâs the glue that kept our scrapbook of life in one piece. So donât take yourself too seriously, break the monotony with some laughter.
Being Thoughtful Counts
Charles was always good with small, thoughtful gestures. Sometimes heâd bring me my favorite chocolate bar after a trip to the store, or leave a little note in my Bible. These little tokens of affection spoke louder than grand declarations of love.
I found small ways to return the favor, slipping a prayer card in his lunchbox or making his favorite pie on a Tuesday afternoon. Those little acts reminded us of our love and commitment, making the everyday grind feel a bit more special.
Now, folks, if youâve made it this far, youâre in luck! Hereâs the real wisdom: Keep God at the center, laugh often, pick your battles, and cherish the little things. Our marriage isnât about grand gestures; itâs about the small, consistent acts of love and faith. Who knows, maybe these words will inspire you to find the secret to your happy home.
And there you have it! My two centsâ worth of wisdom. Letâs carry these lessons forward and show the young’uns how itâs done. Amen and God bless, until next time.