There’s never a bad time for a corny joke. If anything, the only the problem is nailing the timing and delivering a smooth punchline to ensure you get all the laughs.
If you love hamming it up when the gang’s all together, but don’t have enough brain space to remember tons of gags, no worries. Wowing the crowd is as easy as having a hilarious dad joke or two ready to go at a moment’s notice.
A funny knock-knock joke or pun will do nicely in a pinch, but if you really want to be the star of your own comedy show, then have a stash of short jokes at the ready.
Have some friends over to watch the big game? Wait until everyone’s around the TV, then crack them up with a silly one-liner like “I was going to tell you a pizza joke, but decided it was too cheesy.”
If the family’s sitting around the table for Sunday night dinner, go with something sure to go over well with the kids and adults in attendance like “What did the hamburgers name their baby?” We’d tell you the answer, but don’t want to give all the good ones away just yet.
Now, scroll on for all the short jokes you’ll ever need to tickle everyone’s funny bone — including your own.
Short jokes for kids
What did the man say to his fingers? I’m counting on you.
How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Summer wasn’t bad either.
How do pigs do their homework? With a pigpen.
How do you hire a horse? Put it on a ladder.
What do pigs use in the shower? Hogwash.
How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste.
What’s the pirate’s favorite letter? The “C.”
What’s the best way to plan a party in space? You planet.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
What kind of witch goes to the beach? A sandwich.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Why did the sauna go to the doctor? It wasn’t feeling so hot.
Why did the owl quit its job? It didn’t give a hoot.
How much do dead batteries cost? There should be no charge.
Did you hear about the soap-stealing robber? He decided to come clean.
I used to be afraid of painting, but eventually I brushed it off.
Why don’t people play more hide-and-seek? Because good players are hard to find.
What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells.
Why are astronauts so clean? They take meteor showers.