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  The Drill Sergeant Slept With A Teddy Bear. I Stole It To Mock Him. It Weighed Five Pounds.

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  We Mocked The Old Supply Sergeant. Then The General Arrived And Saluted Him.

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  The Bikers Cornered My Sick Grandfather. The Leader Saw His Arm And Dropped The Tire Iron.

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  The Bikers Blocked My Grandpa’s Car. Then They Saw His Forearm.

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  I Came Home Early From A Business Trip. I Found My Daughter Barefoot In The Snow And A New Lock On The Nursery Door.

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  I Found My Daughter Freezing In The Yard. The Real Horror Was Behind My Son’s Locked Door.

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  The Mall Cop Told Me To “calm Down.” The Biker Gang Blocked The Interstate.

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  The Biker Gang Said They’d Find My Missing Son. Then Their Leader Looked At His Photo And Asked For My Name.

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  My Dad Joked I Was A “fake” General. Then The Waiter Locked The Doors.

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  My Father Told A Room Full Of People I Wasn’t A General. An Hour Later, My Secure Phone Got An Alert From The Pentagon.

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  Grey’s Anatomy Star Passed Away At 53

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  Bride Demands Sister’s Car As A Wedding Gift. The Sister Took The Mic And Destroyed Her.