Being a parent means staying true to your word and raising your kids to be responsible adults. But what happens when one of your children turns out to be spoiled and disrespectful? That’s the dilemma one dad faced when he had to decide whether to keep his promise and buy his son a car. Let’s dive into this story and explore the reasons behind his decision.
I (49M) have four kids – twin boys (both 27), a girl (25F), and my youngest son, Jack (21M). Ever since they were children, I made two promises to my kids. First, I would fully pay for all of their college expenses. Second, once they graduated, I would buy them a car. I kept these promises for all my kids, except for Jack. And now, I’m questioning whether I made the right choice.
Breaking the Promise
There are several reasons why I chose not to buy Jack a car. Firstly, I co-signed the lease for the apartment he shares with a friend. Unfortunately, his friend took advantage of my name being on the lease and stopped paying rent. Despite my multiple requests to Jack to resolve the situation, he didn’t take it seriously. I ended up paying six months of rent for his friend until I finally found a solution.
Secondly, Jack has developed a rude and entitled attitude towards us. He speaks to us disrespectfully, as if we were his low-performing employees. He only contacts us when he wants money and otherwise keeps his distance. It’s hurtful to be treated this way, especially considering how much we’ve done for him.
Thirdly, when my wife was hospitalized last year, all of our children flew back home to support her. But Jack initially refused and only came after one of his siblings convinced him. Instead of being there for his sick mother, he made everyone run errands for him and acted like it was a burden to be there. It was extremely disappointing and showed a lack of empathy.
The Cost of Carelessness
Another factor in my decision was the significant cost of Jack’s college years. While I spent around $100,000 on each of my other kids, Jack’s careless spending habits and unwillingness to save money resulted in his college expenses totaling $180,000. As a result, I couldn’t justify buying him a car when he hadn’t shown any gratitude or responsibility.
I even questioned myself and asked my other kids whether we had failed as parents, leading Jack to become this entitled and spoiled. But the truth is, my other kids are nothing like Jack. We have a loving and caring relationship with each other.
Dealing with Criticism
Since my decision, Jack has complained to his grandparents about me. My mother-in-law, who already dislikes me, is now accusing me of playing favorites. She believes that buying cars for all my other kids and not for Jack is proof of this.
Having an ungrateful and entitled child is a challenge many parents face. In a previous article, we shared the story of a dad who taught his disrespectful teenage son a lesson. It’s important for parents to address such behavior and guide their children towards becoming responsible and appreciative adults.