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  I INHERITED THIS STRANGE WATCH FROM AN UNCLE I BARELY KNEW—AND IT CAME WITH ONE CONDITION

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  WE WERE LIVING A NORMAL LIFE—UNTIL I FOUND AN EVICTION NOTICE TAPED TO OUR DOOR

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  THE “GIFT” MY MOTHER-IN-LAW GAVE US ON THE WEDDING DAY

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  I TALKED MY WIFE INTO HAVING ANOTHER BABY IN OUR 40s—AND NOW EVERYTHING’S DIFFERENT

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  MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN OUR 50S AND CHILD-FREE—AND WE HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT

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  MY 23-YEAR-OLD SON IS DATING OUR 68-YEAR-OLD NEIGHBOR—AND I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER FOR HIM

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  I FIND FRESH FLOWERS ON MY MOM’S GRAVE EVERY WEEK—FROM A MAN I’VE NEVER MET

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  SHE TRIED TO STEAL MY BAG THREE MONTHS AGO—NOW I’M THE ONE HOLDING HERS IN THE HOSPITAL

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  MY BROTHER WAS LEFT OUT OF THE WILL—BECAUSE “HE WOULDN’T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE”

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  I TOOK MY SON TO HIS FIRST PROM—AND PEOPLE COULDN’T STOP LOOKING AT ME

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  MY DAUGHTER IS 12—AND I JUST BECAME A GRANDFATHER

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  MY SON GOT CALLED TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE—FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO (BUT KIND OF DID)