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  I Ran Into My Best Friend’s Ex and His New Wife, and Then I Did the Math

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  My Wife Checked Into a Hotel Under a Different Name. I Was Standing Behind the Column.

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  My Wife Called Me While I Was Standing in Her Other House

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  I Was Eating Alone at a Restaurant When the Manager Grabbed a Teenage Girl’s Arm

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  My Best Friend Walked Into My House Wearing My Dead Wife’s Perfume

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  My Manager Called Me a Stupid Little Girl in Front of the Whole Store. The Woman in Line Didn’t Move.

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  I Heard What Coach Briggs Said About My Daughter. I Took Notes for Three Weeks.

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  My Stepdaughter Said Something That Made Me Pull Over and Sit in the Driveway for Forty Minutes

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  My Daughter Got Third Place to a Baking Soda Volcano. So I Burned the Whole System Down.

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  My Granddaughter Said “Don’t Make Me Go Back In There” and I Almost Didn’t Listen

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  I Made Dinner for Eight People. The Envelope Was for One.

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  My Husband’s Work Badge Fell Out of His Pocket. The Name on It Wasn’t His.