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  My Son Hired A Killer For My “retirement” Cruise. He Hired One Of My Old Guys.

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  The Headline: My Family Threatened To Ruin Me At A Wedding If I Didn’t Pay My Brother’s Debts. Then I Showed Them The Power Of Attorney.

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  My Dead Son Called Me. The Address He Gave Me Was A Brain Clinic.

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  The Photographer Showed Me A Picture Of My Son-in-law Cheating. Then I Saw The Woman’s Ring.

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  My Son Gave Me An Eviction Notice For Christmas. He Forgot What His Father Kept In The Safe.

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  A General Cut My Hair With Office Scissors To Teach Me Humility. Then The Red Phone Rang.

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  A Young Sergeant Shoved A Woman For Being Too Slow. Then His Commanding Officer Kneeled.

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  The Guard Told The Homeless Man To Leave. Then The Admiral Saw The Scar.

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  I Kicked Over The Gas Station Girl’s Book. Then I Saw The U.s. Marshal’s Seal.

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  We Laughed When The Old Vet Said His Son Would Be Angry. Then We Saw The Name On His Emergency Contact.

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  They Arrested The Old Lady For Flying The Cessna. Then They Made Her Roll Up Her Sleeve.

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  A Biker Gang Cornered Me In The Diner. Then Their Leader Saw The Tattoo On My Wrist.