An elderly man goes to see his doctor with a peculiar issue.
He tells the doctor,
“Doctor, I’ve got a gas problem, but it doesn’t really bother me since it’s always silent and odorless. In fact, I’ve passed gas 10 times while waiting for you.”
The doctor responds,
“Take these pills daily for a week, and return to see me.”
A week later, the elderly man returns and complains,
“Doctor, I don’t know what you gave me, but now my gas smells horrible!”
The doctor then says,
“Well, now that your sinuses are clear, let’s check your hearing.”
On another occasion, an elderly man on a plane urgently needed a restroom.
Every time he tried, the restroom was occupied.
The flight attendant, noticing his struggle, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies’ room, but warned him not to press any of the buttons inside.
Inside, next to the paper roll, he saw four buttons labeled: ‘WW’, ‘WA’, ‘PP’, and ‘ATR’.
Unable to resist his curiosity, he decided to try the buttons, despite the flight attendant’s warning.
He carefully pressed the ‘WW’ button, and a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed on his bare bottom.
“Wow, these gals really have it nice,” he thought.
Feeling a bit more adventurous, he pressed the ‘WA’ button, and body-temperature Warm Air dried his wet bottom comfortably.
“No wonder women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services,” he thought.
He then eagerly pressed the ‘PP’ button with anticipation.
A soft disposable Powder Puff swung below him and lightly dusted his bottom with talcum powder.
“This is great,” he thought as he reached out for the ‘ATR’ button.
When he woke up in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off.
Confused, he called the nurse to find out what happened.
He explained that the last thing he remembered was an intense pain in the ladies’ room on the plane.
The nurse replied,
“Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the Automatic Tampon Removal button. By the way, your p*nis is under your pillow.”