US Realizes It’s Half a Million Jobs Short, Internet Loses Its Collective Mind

‘But don’t worry: Kamala will fix it on day one!’ one user replied to the news sarcastically

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Well, this is a hoot and a holler! The Bureau of Labor Statistics just pulled back the curtain to reveal the true state of the U.S. economy—turns out we’ve got 818,000 fewer jobs than we thought. Surprise, surprise, social media erupted like a volcano with users skewering the Biden/Harris administration for their “stellar” job at economy management.

Honestly, it’s like discovering your lottery ticket was worthless after throwing a parade in your own honor. Conservative journalist Nick Sortor summed it up perfectly, “818,000 jobs that the Biden Harris White House claimed they ‘created’ DO NOT EXIST.” Let that sink in—800,000 phantom jobs. Good grief!

Now, the job market’s flimsy state is the worst revision we’ve seen since 2009. Imagine cutting yourself in the kitchen and realizing only too late that the Band-Aid box is empty. LPL Financial’s chief economist Jeffrey Roach made things crystal clear, “The labor market appears weaker than originally reported.” No kidding, Sherlock.

Then came the pièce de résistance. Our beloved former President Trump couldn’t resist jumping into the fray on Truth Social. He accused the current administration of a job stats cover-up. And because nothing says “modern scandal” like social media rants, he added ominously, “…if Comrade Kamala gets another four years, millions more Jobs will VANISH overnight.” Yikes!

Not to be outdone, Nicole Shanahan, Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s running mate, threw her two cents into the mix. She slammed the Bureau of Labor Statistics as a propaganda puppet, accusing them of dancing to whatever tune the current administration played. She likened the scenario to a game of musical chairs where both sides are terrified of being the last one standing. Well, musical lies, apparently.

Simon says, “Cue End Wokeness and all the professional moaners.” The account made sure everyone knew the true scale of the blunder, simply stating, “The Biden-Harris administration was just forced to admit that they overstated job creation by 818,000 jobs in one year.” We get it, guys. It’s bad.

Then there was conservative strategist Greg Price, capping off the carnival of pointing fingers, reminding everyone that it wasn’t just job creation where the administration flubbed. “In the last 24 hours, the federal government has revealed that Biden and Kamala lost 291,000 illegal migrant children who crossed the southern border and added 818,000 fewer jobs… But don’t worry: Kamala will fix it on day one!”

But wait, there’s more! The ever-quotable Collin Rugg pointed out that the revision was far worse than what the likes of Wells Fargo and JPMorgan Chase had expected. Fox Digital reached out to the Harris/Walz campaign for comment but got the silent treatment. Oh, the drama!

And to make sure no stone is left unturned, your friendly neighborhood Karen is here to wrap things up. Folks, if this mess doesn’t get sorted out, I’m moving to a cabin in the woods to live off the grid. No internet, no phantom jobs, just trees and a lot of peace and quiet.

Because let’s be honest—at this rate, the only jobs we’ll have left are the ones we imagine in our dreams. Or maybe those 818,000 imaginary jobs were meant to be. Who knows these days?