“I love being a mom and I love my kids dearly, but 90% of my role as a mom is not satisfying.”
Everyone understands that parenting can be tough and rewarding. But is it truly satisfying? A mom on TikTok revealed what many parents might be pondering: the everyday tasks of parenting often don’t feel gratifying.
Celeste Yvonne, a TikToker and mother, shared her candid thoughts this week, and her honest perspective resonated with many.
“Here’s my hot take, so don’t come at me. Most of motherhood is deeply unsatisfying, and we don’t discuss it enough. I love being a mom and adore my kids, but 90% of my role as a mom isn’t satisfying,” she began.
“It’s about handling the details: getting kids to clean up, reminding them to wash their hands, and convincing them to eat meals. It’s a lot of work and not particularly satisfying,” she elaborated.
Indeed, persuading a toddler to eat anything that’s not dinosaur-shaped is often a thankless task.
Celeste explained that her anxiety about not doing enough as a parent stops her from feeling truly content, even though such worries might make her a more attentive mom.
“Most nights, I don’t go to bed feeling satisfied with my role as a mom. On the contrary, I lay down with intrusive thoughts, worried about their future, feeling like I didn’t do a good enough job. That doesn’t make me a bad mom; in fact, it probably makes me a more dedicated one. But it’s not a satisfying feeling,” she confessed.
Why share such potentially controversial feelings with the world?
“I’m voicing this because it’s not discussed enough. For ages, I felt I was doing it wrong by seeing other moms on social media glowing and gushing about milestones. I wondered if I was missing something. But the truth is, we don’t talk about the unsatisfying parts enough. We should.”
In the comments, many parents agreed and expressed their appreciation for Celeste’s frankness.
“It’s the most underappreciated, mentally and physically draining, thankless job. Please continue speaking out. We need this community,” said CONES.
“Moms need to discuss this more. I adore my kids but don’t enjoy the role of being a mom,” said Miss Di.
Still, some parents disagreed.
“I’m a single dad with full custody. It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my 43 years,” said Joe.
“My child is preparing for college, and I’d gladly revisit those hectic early years. I wasn’t sure about having kids and became a mom at 33, but it’s been the most satisfying role,” reminisced TipsyLaBelle.
In a follow-up video, Celeste addressed how social media, especially influencers like Ballerina Farm’s Hannah Neeleman, can foster feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction among parents.
“I want to discuss Ballerina Farm’s impact on mothers like me, who are in the thick of parenting. I see a mom making food from scratch with kids helping harmoniously. I see kids willingly doing chores and eating what their mom has spent hours preparing without fussing. Whether or not it’s true doesn’t matter. It makes me wonder if I’m doing something wrong,” she admitted.
Comparing your life to the curated feeds of influencers is challenging, especially in the realm of parenting. Celeste hopes her TikTok sparks more open conversations about the difficulties of parenting, not just the picture-perfect moments.
“I’m not here to criticize Ballerina Farm. I hope Hannah does what brings her joy. My point is, we need to discuss the other side of motherhood — the reality where many of us go to bed feeling like mere shells of moms and individuals. It’s not because we’re bad moms or failing; it’s because motherhood is incredibly hard since we care so deeply.”
