The widowed father says his late wife was clear she didn’t want him to be alone after her death
Taylor Odlozil continues to keep his wife’s memory alive.
It’s been a year since the 32-year-old’s wife, Haley Odlozil, died after eight years of living with Stage IIIC ovarian cancer. As Taylor explains during his appearance on The Get Back podcast, he has spent much of that time working on bettering himself and being a good father to their now 5-year-old son, Weston.
The hosts asked Taylor what the future holds for him as far as moving on romantically. He acknowledges that he knows, from his newfound platform, that there are interested parties, but he hasn’t found himself there yet.
“I get the question a lot,” he admits. “And I get it, you know? I stood by Haley. We were high school sweethearts. We were madly in love. I’m a Christian, Eagle Scout, Iron Man, a petroleum engineer … a loyal man who values taking care of himself and being a good dad. And women do want that; I don’t blame them for that. I’ve really tried to make sure that I took time to really work on myself for a year at least.”
Taylor went on to recall the conversations he’d have with Haley about what his future looked like after her death.
“We had our talk, and many times, she’d obviously [say], ‘I don’t want you to be alone. I want you to find somebody — but they better be perfect.’ She would always say they better be great. She just really wanted to make sure I found the right one and waited and took my time,” he explains.
“She wanted me to find somebody. She wanted Weston to have that motherly figure. It was important to her and we did have that talk. People comment a lot asking, ‘Did you and Haley talk about that?’ Yes, of course. She would say, ‘I want you to move on but the thought of you with someone else makes you want to puke,’ which is understandable.”
Taylor also addressed speculation he’s already dating again because he stopped wearing his wedding ring, noting that he’s lost 40 lbs. in the time since Haley’s death.
“Another thing I get a lot that really upsets me honestly is the fact that I don’t have my ring on anymore. I explained authentically and genuinely that I’ve lost over 40 lbs. It was falling off my finger and I didn’t want to lose it,” he shares.
“I get mad because what is …. I get it if you have a ring on, then you’re saying that you’re still committed. If you take it off, then it’s like saying I’m ready to date again. Well, what does a tangible piece of metal have anything to do with my love for Haley? Nothing.”
He later continues, “I will love her to the end of days for me. So I think they think if I don’t have it on then I’m like secretly dating. Here’s the struggle, I am realizing because I’ve taken my time, I haven’t done anything. It’s really giving me some time to think about what I’m going to be stepping into. I will admit I am getting close. I’m getting lonely and I miss having a companion.”
Taylor also explains that people don’t realize “how much grieving you do during hospice and during the disease.”
“I knew from the day I married her that I was going to have to bury her. I knew, accepting marriage, that I would be burying her,” he levels. “So, if you don’t think that I thought that, ‘I will be on my own one day,’ for every day for eight years — of course, that crossed my mind. Every time you think about it, you’re processing your grief.”
As Taylor thinks about what a future romantically would look like, he sympathizes that the next woman in his life may not be warmly received by followers of his and Haley’s story.
“It’s kind of changed my view of it. I honestly, who I feel bad for the most is the next girl. I get it, my followers, they love Haley. Haley is great. She’s a legend, like you said. She’s an amazing woman, the greatest woman I’ve ever known. But there will come a time when I will move forward,” he says.
“And I just know what this poor girl is going to just get torn to shreds by — not all my followers, but some of them who are very loyal to Haley and love her dearly. They are going to definitely come for her head.”
Taylor credits Weston for getting him through many dark days, saying his son “saved” him. He goes on to explain that he’s accepted he might face hate when he starts dating again, but when he makes that decision, it will be because it’s right for them both.
“It doesn’t matter how long I wait. It’s not going to be enough for some people. And I’ve come to the realization of that and at the end of the day, I gotta do me. I’ve got to do what’s best for me,” he says.
“My biggest thing that I’m so nervous about and worried is that Haley is all I’ve ever known. She was my person, my soulmate, my high school sweetheart. We grew up together. I just know whatever dates I go on or any girl that I talk to, I’m gonna be constantly comparing them and I’m gonna have to learn that I can’t do that. It’s not fair to that girl and it’s not fair to Haley.”
While many feel that moving on is “replacing Haley,” Taylor is approaching it as “a new chapter.”
“It’s a new version of life and that’s going to be harder. That’s going to be a lot of change … I want that right person to be okay with me talking about Haley, and be okay with ordering pizza for Weston on Haley’s birthday and celebrating her every year that she’s been with our Lord and Savior. Not being like, ‘Why do you talk about her all the time?’ ” he says.
“She was part of my life for 16 years. How do I not?”
Taylor believes when the time is right, Haley will be “sending somebody” his way.
“It’s going to be a challenge. I’ve been a part of her family for 16 years. Just the thought of, I’m gonna be getting to know a new family and probably we’ll be a part of another family. Like, I’m grieving the loss of a lot of things, a lot of people, a lot of changes happened in my life and I don’t like change,” he says.
“I’ve just had to accept the change. I mean, I’ll admit since Haley passed, our little family unit doesn’t feel the same. Haley was really the glue that held us all together. Losing her has really been a bomb that’s gone off. Her family, we’re all still close and working on our new path without our precious Haley.”
He concludes, “I’m just so blessed to be in their family and that they still want me to always be a part of the family and they love getting Weston. I think they feel closer to Haley when they have Weston around so I love letting them be around him as much as they want.”
