Cheating is a complex issue. People cheat on their partners for various reasons, and sometimes it seems like there is no reason at all – it’s just an opportunity they couldn’t resist. According to a 2017 survey by Trustify, 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women have admitted to cheating. However, these numbers may be even higher, as some people may not confess to infidelity.
But what actually constitutes cheating? Is an emotional affair enough to break a relationship, even if there was no physical contact involved? It’s a difficult question to answer. As someone who has been cheated on, I know firsthand the pain, humiliation, and feelings of worthlessness that come with it. When I confronted my partner, he initially dismissed the other woman, who was 28 years younger than him, as just a friend. Then came the dismissive label of “you’re out of your mind” and even the accusation that I might be cheating on him.
While there are countless excuses that cheaters tend to resort to, here are seven common ones as identified by experts.
1. “I Didn’t Do It. It Wasn’t Me.”
The easiest excuse is simply denying it. Most cheaters will immediately deny any wrongdoing. This denial can bring temporary relief to the victims who are not ready to face the truth. Denial is a tool that cheaters use to avoid conflict.
2. “You’re Out Of Your Mind!”
When accused of cheating, some cheaters try to make their partners believe that they are “out of their mind.” This is a form of gaslighting, which is not only messed up but also a form of abuse. Calling into question your partner’s mental stability is manipulative and designed to make you doubt your instincts.
3. “We’re Just Good Friends.”
Cheaters involved in long-term relationships with their betraying partners, such as work colleagues, friends’ spouses, or neighbors, may use the excuse that the other person is “just a friend.” They will try to convince you that late-night phone calls and receipts from dinners or hotels are innocent and misinterpreted. Don’t be fooled; they are not just friends.
4. “It Just Happened Once.”
Cheaters who are caught red-handed and cannot deny or gaslight their way out of the situation may admit to this excuse. They will lie about the frequency and timeline of their affair, downplaying the seriousness of their actions.
5. “It’s Over.”
Chronic cheaters may claim that they have ended their cheating ways or promise their partners that they will stop. However, this excuse often doesn’t stick. When victims hear this excuse repeatedly, it becomes harder to believe and trust their partner.
6. “It Didn’t Mean Anything.”
Some cheaters subscribe to the mindset of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” They believe that sex is less important than commitment, so having sex outside the relationship isn’t a big deal to them. However, deception and betrayal are still present, regardless of how they try to justify it.
7. “I Need Help!”
A common tactic among cheaters is playing the victim and seeking sympathy. They may promise to go to therapy for sex addiction, even if they may not actually be sex addicts. This excuse is an attempt to shift the blame and avoid taking responsibility for their behavior.
It’s important to remember that cheating is a complex issue, and the reasons behind it can vary. Some people cheat because they are not fully committed in the early stages of a relationship. Others cheat in long-distance relationships without a formal commitment. Establishing boundaries and open communication with your partner can help prevent misunderstandings and clarify expectations. Remember, being cheated on is not your fault, and the best thing you can do is have honest conversations with your partner about your relationship status and what constitutes cheating.
