Your partner’s support after you give birth is absolutely essential. Your body is going through some major changes during the postpartum period, and it helps to know that you’re not alone and that you’re loved and respected no matter what.
On the other hand, if your significant other keeps making hurtful jokes and comments about how you look, it can make anyone wonder what exactly is going on and whether you know them at all. An anonymous woman, who recently gave birth, opened up to the r/AITAH community about how her husband started making toxic comments about her body, forcing her to move out with their son. Read on for the full story.
It can be utterly devastating to realize that the person you married isn’t who you thought they were
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A postpartum mom sought some advice on the internet after her husband started insulting her in private and in public
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The procedure that the husband wanted his wife to get is outdated and has no benefit
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The last straw, as the author revealed, was her husband making an offensive joke about her postpartum body while they were having dinner with his family.
She tried explaining why this was so hurtful to her. However, instead of admitting that he was in the wrong, the husband tried to guilt trip her about not having gotten the so-called “husband stitch” after giving birth.
What the man and the author are referring to, as explained by Medical News Today, is “an extra stitch that some women say they have received during the repair of an episiotomy or vaginal tear. This procedure takes place after delivery to decrease the size of a woman’s vaginal opening.”
The procedure is outdated (it originally traces back to the mid-1950s) and has “no approved medical use or benefit. Healthcare providers should never perform this procedure without the woman’s consent.”
According to MNT, there are no advantages to getting an extra stitch. “The vagina is a muscle that expands during birth but should eventually return to its predelivery state.”
Meanwhile, “Stitching the vaginal opening tighter will likely cause painful sex for both partners.”
So, what the story author’s husband was guilt-tripping her about is a procedure that is not only outdated but has no real benefit and may actually be detrimental to both of them.
Medical professionals can do a lot to help new moms during the postpartum period
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The postpartum period starts immediately after giving birth. Typically, it lasts between 6 to 8 weeks. It officially ends when the mother’s body has nearly returned to its pre-pregnant state.
According to researchers at the University of Kansas, some of the most common postpartum concerns include the so-called postpartum blues, aka baby blues. This is transient depression that is very common during the first week after delivery.
“Women may notice feeling down, anxious, mood swings, crying spells, irritability, and difficulty sleeping. Postpartum blues typically resolve within 2 weeks,” the researchers state.
Other common postpartum issues include intimate partner violence, incontinence, as well as hemorrhoids. This is why it’s so important that doctors, nurses, and healthcare providers put in the effort to support moms after their babies are delivered, not just during the delivery.
After the woman’s story went viral on Reddit and elsewhere on the internet, it ended up getting removed.
Meanwhile, the author’s account got suspended, so we were unable to reach out to her for an update about what happened next.
What would you have done if you were in the mom’s position? What advice would you give her? What did you do to support your partner after delivery? Share your thoughts in the comments.