Whoever said that parenting is a full-time job clearly didn’t have Leah Ova in mind. This San Francisco mom of four has a refreshing take on child-rearing that’s sparking conversations among parents everywhere. According to Ova, the best thing parents can do for their kids is to be a little lazy. Yes, you read that right. Lazy. Ova believes that stepping back and letting kids fend for themselves teaches them valuable life skills and encourages independence.
In a candid Aug. 22 TikTok video, Ova shared that during a chat with a friend, she realized so many parents—herself included—are guilty of doing too much for their offspring. Her friend confided that if she didn’t make breakfast for her child, the kid would just skip the meal altogether. Ova’s advice? “You need to be a lazier parent. I think everyone’s helping their kids too much,” she declared in her viral TikTok video.
The irony? The best type of parenting, according to Ova, involves high attentiveness but low interference. Imagine sipping your morning coffee, glancing at the kitchen, and telling your child, “Honey, I’m literally having a coffee right now. You can get it yourself.” And guess what? They probably can.
The Moderation Manifesto
Ova emphasizes the importance of balance in parenting. It’s not about turning a blind eye or neglecting your child, but rather about cutting back on doing things they can figure out themselves. According to Ova, many parents spend their time juggling work, extracurricular activities, and maintaining a picture-perfect household. This frantic pace doesn’t just burn out the parents—it also robs kids of crucial opportunities to learn independence.
In an interview with “Good Morning America,” Ova pointed out that about a third of the parents she knows do most, if not all, of the chores and tasks for their children. With the pressure of after-school activities, striving for perfect grades, and maintaining appearances both offline and on social media, some parents might inadvertently be doing too much.
Ova’s own kids, who are 13, 11, 8, and just 10 months old, have benefited from this approach. In the last four years, especially since the COVID-19 pandemic, Ova and her husband have consciously tried to give their older kids more autonomy in their daily activities.
Letting Go of the Reins
One shining example of this newfound independence was when Ova’s 11-year-old son decided to make pancakes. Naturally, Ova’s first instinct was to hover and ensure his safety. What if he caught his sleeve on fire? What if something went wrong? But she resisted the urge to intervene, allowing her son to take charge. The result? A proud boy who had successfully whipped up a hearty breakfast for himself and a friend. “He was super proud that it’s something that he can do, that he can make a breakfast for his friend, which I think is really cool and really sweet,” she said.
Ova’s approach has struck a chord with numerous parents. Many reached out after her TikTok post, echoing her sentiments and sharing their own experiences. The feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, reinforcing Ova’s belief that less interference isn’t just okay—it’s beneficial.
More Than Just Pancakes
Ova’s philosophy goes beyond pancake making. It’s a broader approach to parenting that encourages kids to learn life skills they’ll use in the future. Whether it’s taking the city bus to school, handling household chores, or simply managing their time, these small steps toward independence equip kids with the confidence and competence they need to thrive.
In the grand scheme of things, Ova wants parents to understand that stepping back doesn’t equate to neglect. Instead, it’s a way of enriching your child’s skill set and making them more resilient and self-reliant. Encouraging kids to take responsibility for their actions and learn how to solve their problems fosters a sense of accomplishment and maturity.
Lasting Impressions and Future Goals
As more parents resonate with her approach, Ova hopes the conversation around “lazy parenting” continues to grow. She wants fellow parents to realize that giving kids the opportunity to tackle tasks themselves doesn’t make them bad parents. Rather, it’s about nurturing independent individuals who can navigate life’s complexities with confidence.
“My objective was not to be critical of other parents but it was more like, ‘Hey, give yourself a break, because actually, it’s good for your kids. You don’t have to feel bad about having them do things on their own. It’s actually great for them. It’ll make them better people in the long run.’ So I think people got that, which made me happy,” Ova explained.
So, next time you’re wrestling with a to-do list that includes making your child’s breakfast or organizing every detail of their day, take a leaf out of Leah Ova’s book. Maybe it’s time to grab that coffee, sit back, and let your young ones surprise you with what they can achieve on their own. You might just find that your “laziness” is a gift in disguise, one that helps your kids bloom into capable, self-assured adults.
