Well, howdy there, friend! Now, I don’t reckon you should waste your time readin’ an ol’ lady’s ramblings about loneliness in marriage after 50, but since you clicked, you might as well stick around and see if I can tickle your fancy. I’m Mary, a spry 60-year-old from the good ol’ US of A, and I’ve got some things to say about marriage, loneliness, and how you can dodge that big ol’ mistake many of us gals make!

First off, let me paint you a picture. Imagine a beautiful, well-aged oak tree standing tall in a meadow, its branches stretching wide, giving shade and comfort to all around. Now, picture that same oak tree without its leaves—lookin’ kinda lonely, ain’t it? That, my dear readers, is what a lot of marriages look like after 50: sturdy, weathered by time, but sometimes a tad bare and lonely.

Too Much Worryin’, Not Enough Enjoyin’

Now, my husband Bob and I have been together for over 40 years. That’s right, we hitched our wagons back when disco was all the rage—glory be! But somewhere along the line, life got busier, kids grew up, and suddenly I found myself worryin’ more and enjoyin’ less. The house got awful quiet, much like that oak tree in the winter.

And here’s where many of us gals make the big mistake—we fret and worry so much about the empty spaces that we forget to find joy in the here and now. We spend so much time lookin’ back or worryin’ about the future that the present moment, where our dear husbands are, passes us by like a runaway train.

Don’t Become the Local Martyr

Honey, I know you’re still readin’, so let me give it to you straight. The mistake most women make is adopting the role of the local martyr. We think it’s our Christian duty to bear every burden, worry about every little thing, and put our needs right down at the bottom of the list till they’re buried six feet under. But you know what? This sacrifices our joy and connection with our husbands!

I remember one morning, Bob was sittin’ at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee. I was fumin’ and frettin’ over some silly thing, when he looked straight at me and said, “Mary, would you just sit and have a cup of coffee with me?” I tell ya, that was a wake-up call. Here I was, about to miss a moment of pure, simple delight over some nonsense that didn’t matter a lick in the grand scheme of things.

The Solution is Right Under Your Nose

You might be wonderin’, “Mary, what’s the big solution?” Well, sugar, it’s simpler than you think. Step back, take a deep breath, and start enjoyin’ the little moments. It’s about shakin’ off those unwarranted worries, letting yourself just be, and reconnecting with that crazy ol’ coot of a husband you fell in love with all those years ago.

Why, just the other day, Bob and I took a walk down to the creek behind our house. We had no particular destination, just the two of us, takin’ our time. We talked about the most insignificant things—like how fluffy the clouds looked and how the chill in the air reminded us of the winters when the kids were little. And you know what? It was one of the most heartwarming afternoons I’ve had in a long time.

The Power of Shared Moments

It ain’t about grand gestures or solving the world’s problems; it’s about those shared moments, the laughter over a silly mistake, the comfort of a familiar hand holding yours. When you focus on being present with your spouse, really present, y’know, it fills those seemingly lonely spaces with warmth and love.

So, next time you find yourself frettin’ over the future or lamenting the past, stop right there. Look at your husband and see him for who he is—a partner to share your moments, your worries, your joys. Invite him to go for a walk, share a morning coffee, or just sit beside him while he watches his favorite show (even if you think it’s as exciting as watchin’ paint dry!).

Let Go and Let God

Ladies, remember that our good Lord put us together for a reason. He didn’t design us to shoulder the world’s problems alone. Lay those burdens down at His feet, let go and let God. You’ll be amazed at how lighter you feel and how much more you can love.

So, in a nutshell, the big mistake? It’s forgettin’ to enjoy the simple, everyday moments with your spouse. Don’t let life’s hustle and bustle steal away the joy that’s right in front of you. Grab that cup of coffee, sit down, and savor the presence of the one you promised to love “for better or worse.” Trust me, you’ll find that old oak tree’ll bloom with a few green leaves of joy before you know it!

And there you have it, friends. Don’t say I didn’t warn you about readin’ this till the end. Now go on, fix that marriage of yours, and savor those sweet moments!