Just when you thought the Olympics were predictable, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) shakes things up with a bizarre yet fascinating lineup of new sports for the 2028 Olympics. Hold onto your seats, folks, because things are about to get both exciting and utterly confusing.
Out with the Old, In with the New
Just as quickly as breakdancing arrived, it’s been shown the door for LA 2028. Yep, the sport that dazzled and confused everyone last year won’t be showcasing its flair on the big stage. Australian competitor Raygun, remember her? She scored a zero and now spills the tea on the whole drama. “It was disappointing…premature even. What’s an Olympic sport anyway? Dressage, artistic swimming, and the 100m sprint seem like a comedy mixed with stunts from different genres,” she ranted. And, honestly, she’s got a point.
Meet the New Faces
Now, while we bid a fairly sarcastic farewell to breakdancing, let’s clink our glasses (filled with either despair or hope) to the new kids on the block. Six new sports are marching in, two of which are making their debut, while four are given a resurrection pass from the Olympic graveyard. Ready for the rundown? Let’s take a look.
The Return of Squash
A favorite among executives and anyone who needs to vent their frustrations by smacking a ball against four walls. Yes, squash is back and promises intense rallies, sweat-filled courts, and more racket-swinging than one can handle. Do you feel enthused yet? Because we’re barely getting started.
Flag Football
Next up, we’ve got Flag Football—a sport derived from American football but with less bone-crunching and a lot more flag snatching. Instead of tackling your opponent, grab their flag. The IOC promises that this is exactly what your life was missing. Teams will be smaller, fields tinier, and the drama…well, the drama will be as flag-in-snatching thrilling as ever.
Baseball’s Grand Return
A sport that has flip-flopped in and out of the Olympics more times than a political candidate’s promises—baseball is back. From 1992 to 2008, it was a permanent fixture, dropped for a bit, then appeared as optional in 2020. This time, they’re trying again. Will it throw a curveball or strike out? Only time will tell.
Softball Takes the Stage
Softball, baseball’s close cousin, has swung in and out of the Olympic frame too. Included from 1996 to 2008, uninvited for 2012 and 2016, back in 2021 Tokyo and snubbed at 2024 Paris. And now, it gets another at-bat for 2028. Speaking of emotional rollercoasters, am I right?
Lacrosse: A 120-Year Hiatus
For the first time since 1908, lacrosse will feature as an official medal sport. With six players per team, it’s all set to unleash a century-old hunger for gold. Wonder what took them so long? Maybe they were just waiting for the right moment—or maybe they forgot it existed.
Cricket’s Comeback
In an equally dramatic return, cricket is back, having been absent since Paris 1900. It’s not exactly a short or straightforward game, but it will now test your patience once again on the grand stage. Grab your hats and sunscreen; given cricket’s tendency to last for days, you might just need them.
The Good Old Permanents
For 2024, skating, surfing, and sport climbing were optional flings but now they’ve earned the permanent spotlight. Unlike their more fickle comrades, these sports knew how to impress and get themselves a steady engagement. Who knew clinging to a rock, riding a wave, or flipping a board could feel so right?
There you have it— a mixture of the nostalgic and unprecedented, promising an Olympic Games filled with the unpredictable and occasionally questionable. Buckle up and get ready for the chaos!
And to wrap it all up, here’s Karen’s take: If the Olympics are a circus, then these new sports are the latest clowns hired to spice up the act. Let’s just hope none of them get fired before they even step into the ring.
