Hello dear readers! Buckle up, because today, Mary’s delving into a real doozy of a question that’ll make you laugh, cry, and maybe even nod knowingly. Now, I must protect the identity of our anonymous poster — let’s call them “Concerned Conservative Parent” or CCP for short.

Alrighty, let’s set the stage. Our friend CCP found themselves in quite a pickle. You see, CCP’s lovely daughter decided to have a wedding. Now, not just any wedding, mind you. This was to be a ‘woke’ wedding! Imagine that. As you can already feel the tension building, keep reading to find out if CCP was an a**hole or not — trust me, you won’t want to miss this conclusion.

The Setup: When Traditions Meet ‘Wokeness’

In this day and age, weddings aren’t just about the pretty white dresses and vows of everlasting love anymore. No, no — it’s also a time for many to share their political ideals with everyone they know. Here’s how it went down for CCP. Their daughter — let’s call her Jessie — decided her big day was a perfect opportunity to highlight her own, shall we say, ‘modern’ values.

Jessie’s grand idea included a non-denominational ceremony, an environmentally friendly reception, ungodly vegan and gluten-free dishes, and a strict no-alcohol policy. Not to mention, the whole thing was scheduled on a Saturday during football season! Sounds like a nightmare, huh? Well, hold your horses, because that isn’t even the half of it!

The Crux of the Matter

As if all that weren’t enough to sting good ol’ CCP’s patriotic heart, Jessie’s wedding also roped in a ‘woke’ playlist. Instead of classic country hymns or the God-blessed ‘Star-Spangled Banner,’ Jessie opted for tunes from “socially conscious” artists. I guess ‘Good Old Fashioned Wedding March’ just didn’t have enough flair for the occasion.

Now listen, folks, supporting your child’s wedding is a wonderful thing — but it’s a two-way street. It’s about honoring where you all come from, not just cramming one person’s agenda down everyone’s throats. She could have at least kept the deviled eggs, right?

To Attend or Not to Attend

Here’s where CCP made her stand. After discussing it with her Bible study group (bless those wonderful souls), she decided to sit this one out. Now, don’t jump to conclusions, dear reader — we’ve all been there, pulling our hair out over the latest ‘woke’ controversy. But in all seriousness, CCP’s heart was in the right place. She loves her daughter dearly but couldn’t, by principle, endorse an event so removed from her own fundamental values.

Of course, Jessie and the in-laws didn’t take kindly to this decision. Familial ties were strained, but like the Patriots who stood firm, CCP had to do what she believed was right. After all, if you can’t stick to your principles in these moments, when can you? Besides, everyone knows cancel culture won’t last forever — God willing, we’ll all circle back to common sense in time.

The Aftermath: Family Drama Unfolds

So, CCP sits out the wedding, missing out on the ‘intersectional’ reception where the lambs were saved, and the dignitaries of avocado toast were served unto, instead. But before you judge too quickly, let’s reflect. Jessie, bless her soul, might have been upset, but her decisions shut out her family’s traditions entirely. CCP missed her daughter’s wedding, yes — but Jessie celebrated her big day without considering half her family’s values.

This sort of high-horse wedding sounds fancy, but let me tell you, it leaves attendees feeling like their identity isn’t welcome. Unity celebrations? My foot! But the Bible does say love your neighbor, so let’s give Jessie a break — her heart’s in the right place, she’s just a bit, well, misguided by modern fads.

So, Who’s the A**hole?

Here it is, dear readers: CCP wonders, ‘Am I the A**hole?’ Now, grab that cup of coffee and cozy up because here’s the verdict. If standing up for your deeply held beliefs makes you an a**hole, then slap some donkey ears on me and call me a mule!

At the end of the day, CCP is definitely not the a**hole. There’s nothing wrong with drawing a line in the sand when wokeness decides to crash your beloved traditions. When family members have different values, it’s crucial to find a middle ground — a little compromise never killed anybody. But Jessie’s wedding seemed more like a cultural sermon than a family event.

Let’s face it, folks; this ‘woke’ culture won’t last forever. In the meantime, we have to stick close to our roots. If our ancestors could cross oceans for their faith and values, we can skip a vegan-wine-free wedding without feeling guilty. After all, traditions matter, and CCP’s decision was about more than just a party.

Conclusion: The Power of Family Ties

To wrap it up, let’s not be too harsh on Jessie — she’s got her reasons, even if they’re a bit tangled up in today’s nonsense. As for CCP, well, kudos to the brave parent who stands firm. Families may drift, but time heals, and love remains. Here’s hoping Jessie and CCP find common ground soon, over some good old-fashioned meatloaf and apple pie!

Until next time, remember that your values are worth upholding, regardless of what the world throws your way. God bless!