I’VE SURVIVED CANCER FIVE TIMES—AND I’M STILL NOT DONE LIVING

The first time, I was 32.

Breast cancer. I still remember the way the doctor looked at me—gentle, rehearsed, like he’d said it a hundred times before. But for me, it was the first time my world cracked open. I did everything they told me. Surgery. Chemo. The hair loss. The exhaustion. And then, finally, remission.

I thought that was my battle. My one hard thing.

But cancer had other plans.

Ovarian came next. Then skin. Then my thyroid. And last year, when I thought I was finally done counting, I got the call about my liver.

You’d think after five diagnoses, I’d be bitter. Tired. Angry. And yeah—there were moments. Sitting alone in waiting rooms. Wondering how much more my body could take. Watching friends drift away because they didn’t know what to say anymore.

But here’s the thing: after all of it, I’ve learned something. Something that I never imagined I’d understand in the midst of all the pain and the treatments.

Life is fragile. But it’s also beautiful.

The first time I was diagnosed with cancer, I felt like my whole world was falling apart. The fear, the unknown, the endless days in hospitals, those long hours lying in bed wondering if the next day would be the one I couldn’t fight through. But as time went on, as I went through surgery after surgery, chemo session after chemo session, something inside me began to shift. I realized that every day, every moment I was alive, was a gift. And it was a gift I wasn’t going to waste.

When the ovarian cancer came, I thought, “Maybe this is the end. Maybe I won’t get through this.” But again, I fought with everything I had. I looked at my family and my friends—those who stayed close to me—and realized that I wasn’t just fighting for myself. I was fighting for them too. And after months of treatment, when I was declared “cancer-free” once more, it felt like I had just earned a second life.

But cancer didn’t care. It never does.

The skin cancer hit me like a brick, unexpected and swift. It was in a mole I hadn’t even noticed until it had grown. And once again, I was back in the hospital, back in that familiar sterile room with the IV in my arm. It was always the same feeling—hope mixed with terror. But I had become an expert in hope by now. So, I kept fighting, and after another round of surgeries and treatments, I once again found myself looking forward to a life I had almost lost.

The thyroid cancer was almost a blur in comparison. I had gotten used to the pattern by then. But the shock came when they told me my liver had cancer too. That was the one I couldn’t prepare for. I had always told myself, “Once I’m free, I’m free. I’ll have a life after this.” But my liver wasn’t cooperating.

This time, though, I was ready. I’d been through enough by now to know that nothing could knock me down permanently—not unless I let it. I had learned how to adapt, how to accept, how to face the hard truth and then fight it head-on.

And here’s the part that gets hard to explain: it wasn’t just the cancer that I was battling anymore. It was the isolation that came with it—the way people who hadn’t been through it couldn’t really understand. It was the strange feeling of being both a fighter and a survivor, yet never quite feeling like you could escape the shadow of the illness. Friends would drift away because they didn’t know how to be there for me. Or maybe because they were scared. Or maybe because, in their minds, they had already offered all they could, and they didn’t know how to keep offering when the battle seemed endless.

I remember one day, during my thyroid treatment, I was sitting on the front porch, staring at the sun setting, when one of my closest friends came to visit. She sat beside me, and we didn’t talk for a while. We just sat there, watching the world spin, both of us lost in our own thoughts.

“Do you ever wonder why you keep going?” she finally asked, her voice soft.

I looked at her, unsure how to answer. I had been wondering that for months. Why did I keep pushing when I felt like the world around me had stopped?

But the truth is, it wasn’t a choice. I had no other option. Cancer didn’t get to define me. It didn’t get to have the last word. The moments of doubt came, yes, but they didn’t last. Because I realized that living wasn’t just about surviving. It was about being present, being alive, being able to enjoy the little things—the sunlight on my face, the laughter of my kids, the taste of fresh coffee in the morning.

I smiled at her, my heart full. “I keep going because I still have so much more to live for. And because I can. Because as long as I’m here, there’s something worth fighting for.”

And that was the turning point for me. I started living again, truly living. I didn’t wait for the next diagnosis or the next setback. I didn’t focus on the possibility of the cancer coming back. Instead, I focused on the joy that was right in front of me. I started saying yes to things I had put off. I went on that spontaneous trip to the mountains with my daughter. I baked cookies with my son, just because. I danced in the living room when I heard my favorite song on the radio.

It wasn’t perfect. Some days, it was harder than others. There were moments when I cried, when the pain got overwhelming, and when the fear crept in. But those moments passed, and they always passed faster when I reminded myself that life is what you make of it. I couldn’t control everything, but I could control how I faced each day.

Then came the twist.

About six months ago, I was in my oncologist’s office, getting a check-up. I was feeling great, I’d had no symptoms, no pain, nothing. And yet, as we went through the usual tests, something unexpected happened. My doctor’s face changed. It was subtle, but I saw it. The same expression I’d seen years ago—the one that told me something wasn’t right.

“Let’s run a few more tests,” he said, his voice calm but firm.

I didn’t want to believe it. Not again. Not after everything I had been through. But deep down, I knew. I knew what was coming.

The tests came back. And this time, the cancer was in my lungs. Stage 4.

I was devastated. The tears came, not just for the diagnosis, but for the thought of all the things I hadn’t done yet. I wasn’t done living, not by a long shot. I had so many plans, so many things I wanted to experience.

But then, something unexpected happened. The people I thought had drifted away? They didn’t. They came rushing back into my life, in ways I didn’t even know they could. My old friends, the ones who hadn’t known how to be around me during the earlier battles, were suddenly showing up. They were here, holding my hand, reminding me that no one was ever truly alone in this journey.

The real twist, though, came from a stranger. One day, while I was sitting in the waiting room, I overheard a conversation between two women. One of them was telling her friend about a new treatment, one that was still in the trial stages, but had shown incredible promise. Something in me clicked. I took a chance, reached out, and enrolled in the trial.

I’m still in the trial now, and it’s working. Slowly, but it’s working.

The lesson? Life doesn’t always play fair, and it’s not always going to be easy. But no matter what you’re facing, there’s always hope. Even in the darkest times, there are twists waiting for you, sometimes in places you least expect. And the people you least expect can become your greatest support.

So, if you’re struggling, if you feel like life is too much to handle, remember this: you are not done. There is always more to your story, and there is always a way forward. The fight might be long, but it’s worth it.

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