Shaye Scott came out to her wife, Amanda, in 2019 as transgender
When Shaye Scott came out as transgender to her wife Amanda, she didn’t have much knowledge about gender dysphoria.
Utah native Shaye, who was raised in the Mormon religion, realized around the age of 3 that she didn’t conform to traditional gender norms. Despite her gender struggles throughout her childhood and later, adulthood, Shaye kept her feelings to herself.
Eventually, Shaye, 39, met and married Amanda and the two welcomed Emmeline, 11, Hudson, 9, and Desmond, 6, together.
But then everything changed in 2019 while on vacation in Laguna Beach, California, when Shaye decided to open up and talk about her true feelings with Amanda.
“I was nervous to talk to Amanda, but learning about gender dysphoria gave me the confidence to describe something I had never been able to articulate before,” Shaye tells PEOPLE exclusively.
“I was relieved to be able to talk about my experience for the first time in my adult life,” she adds. “Having language to describe my identity gave me validation that I had never had.”
“It was Amanda who ultimately helped me to accept my transgender identity and embrace this core part of myself,” she continues.
Katie That same year, Shaye underwent hormone replacement therapy to help alleviate the gender dysphoria. (According to the Mayo Clinic, gender dysphoria is a feeling of discomfort that a person experiences when their gender identity doesn’t align with the sex assigned to them at birth.) Eventually, the couple also left the Mormon Church and shared Shaye’s transition with their family — including their kids.
Then, in April 2023, she made a social transition after undergoing facial feminization surgery.
“I had more of an issue with myself more than my kids did with me, and that clicked with me right away,” Shaye says. “It’s like I’m living my fears and I’m just projecting that they would feel the same way, but they immediately were loving and accepting.”
“A lot of people think that they lost their father, but I don’t think they feel like that at all. I’m just showing up more authentically in the world how I feel comfortable,” she adds.
Amanda, now 37, adds, “It’s been interesting for me just as an individual since Shaye came out. It’s helped me to think of gender and even my own sexuality in a totally different way.”
“When you’re raised to think there’s a certain way that you can receive love and protection in the world, you just don’t question it,” Amanda continues. “Even though she didn’t know how to express and talk about this part of herself, we had a good close relationship before, but it’s just deepened so much going through this with her.”
In May, Amanda suggested renewing their vows. The idea partly arose because Shaye hasn’t had a wedding ring for a long time, as she lost it on their honeymoon 18 years ago and never replaced it.
“Then we’re like, no, we really should do that. That’d be really special,” Shaye says, adding how their Mormon wedding wasn’t as intimate as they’d hoped.
“For us, it’s this extra layer of like, okay, not only did we do it the way we didn’t want to the first time, but now we get to do it in a way that’s true and most authentic to who we are,” Shaye continues.
The couple shared the idea on TikTok, where they frequently post to share more about Shaye’s transition, and to their surprise, the video went viral, garnering over 16.2 million views.
The comment section also filled with over 5,000 responses from individuals expressing admiration for Shaye and Amanda’s journey.
“There are certain rules that our family is breaking, and a lot of people aren’t comfortable with it,” Amanda says. “And then sometimes when we reach that audience, I think, okay, this is great. This is an opportunity to humanize a situation and a demographic that is so dehumanized in a lot of our political rhetoric.”
“People forget that trans individuals are first and foremost humans,” Amanda continues. “And in my experience with the community, some of the best humans, such amazing people. I’m hoping it just creates awareness.”
While the couple are still brainstorming plans for the renewal, they hope for it to be a special gathering with friends, family and people who support them. Their dream would be to hold it at a beautiful outdoor venue with good food and lots of celebrating.
“Nothing too extravagant, but just really a beautiful place for our loved ones to get together. This time around it’s the rainbow variety, it doesn’t have to fit into a tight box,” Amanda says.
“A lot of people will say, give it a few years, this marriage will end. But Amanda’s my person and we love each other,” Shaye continues.
