When embarking on the journey of motherhood, we often turn to those closest to us for help and support. This new mom was no different. Facing the prospect of returning to work and needing someone reliable to care for her newborn, she turned to her 64-year-old mother. Sounds reasonable, right? After all, who could be more trustworthy and loving than grandma?
However, things didn’t quite go as planned. In a heartfelt post on Reddit, the new mom shared her dilemma. She had presumed her mother would step in without much issue, since her mother had been a homemaker for decades. But, to her surprise, the grandmother was less than enthusiastic. She felt her days of child-rearing were behind her and suggested her daughter should think about staying home instead.
“I make $55,000 a year but have $39,000 in student loans and another $20,000 in various debts,” the new mom revealed. Her partner brought in $36,000 annually, saddled with an extra $5,000 in credit card debt. Staying home wasn’t viable given their financial tight spot. Her mother, however, pointed out that babysitting is no simple task. If she were to take on the role, she wanted to be compensated at a rate of $20 per hour, alongside necessities like a car seat, stroller, and gas reimbursement.
Understandably frustrated, the daughter felt cornered. Her goal was to save money to chip away at their debts, not to take on more expenses. She then turned to Reddit, hoping for a bit of sympathy or advice. But the online community didn’t pull any punches. Most commenters felt she should have planned her childcare arrangements better and emphasized that grandma had every right to decline or set her terms.
As the discussion unfolded, the daughter began to see the situation from a different perspective. Maybe the rigorous task of babysitting a newborn wasn’t something her mom was up for—and that was okay. Perhaps it was time to look into professional infant care services, even if it meant some emotional distance.
Finding balance between family support and respecting boundaries is tough. While the daughter hoped her mother could help, it became clear they had different expectations. Sometimes, the best-laid plans fall through, and we have to adapt and find new solutions.
